Ok, So BBB and I have had some adventures since the last post. You remember he was sound again? Well, there were a few nights where class didn't end til four/five-ish and it was too dark to ride, so I didn't go out this week.
Friday Ainsley went to feed out and for whatever reason, the BBB turned round and kicked her. Not so flash. We chased him around the paddock for a bit, made it VERY clear he was never to do it again and I'll be working on having him respectful of both of us when feeding time comes round. Left a post for mugwump and have some practical advice from her and Laura Crum.
At any rate, Saturday was lovely and I had all day free so I headed out for a ride. Guess who's lame again? Tearing around the paddock without a warm up seems to have left him off in the back right leg. Damn it. We got maybe ten steps out of the drive when I thought, no, this doesn't feel right.
It doesn't help that after so long being lame and under worked he's as high as a kite and making me nervous. I gotta get a grip on that. The BBB being high as a kite is a tall horse picking his head up and looking about and walking a little bit forward. He's not that scary. Not out of control, not spooky or feeling like he might buck... Just not a lazy old school horse you've got to wear yourself out on just to get a walk.
But let me tell you, the whole owning a horse thing, and riding outside of an arena and not having an instructor to tell me what to do? It's bloody scary. I'm terrified of loosing control, and trying really hard not to hang off his face because of it. I'm afraid I'll do something wrong, not feed him adequately or not notice that he's sick, or... I don't even know. Anything. I want to look after him so well, and every day I find something else I had no idea about. I'm learning fast though!
Right now I'm slightly worried that my riding fears are getting in my way. Ainsley doesn't think he's lame, and apparently he was only very slightly lame last time too... I don't know about that, I could see and feel the difference that fast it felt like a huge limp! She thinks I should still be working him, and if he's only very slightly lame she might be right... but again, it feels wrong to me. How long will it be before I can safely trust my own judgment? I feel ignorant and everyone elses opinions seem that much more... important? knowledgeable? I also haven't owned this horse for long enough to know if this is normal. Maybe he's always a little un even. I don't know. Maybe it's a result of being barefoot for the first time. It's been six weeks since the shoes came off, maybe he's still adjusting? Maybe I'm just making excuses so I can still be a scardy cat and not ride...
I hope not.