back to it

so, for the last three weeks it has pissed with rain pretty much constantly. On the three nice day's we've had, i've either been at work, at tech or sick in bed. So no riding.
I also seem to have discovered quite a bit of fear. Apparently in deciding I want to work with horses for a living I've put enough pressure on myself that now I am.. afraid. Of doing something I've always loved.
As you can imagine, being afraid of getting on my horse is kinda freaking me out. I don't recall ever having been afraid to get on a horse. Mildly nervous of a new one I didn't know well, but no actual fear. Combine this with learning to ride without a saddle for the first time ever and you have a fairly terrified me. I have no idea if my horse has ever been ridden bareback.
So I took my partner out with me. and made him stand, holding poor BBB (who only wanted to eat, his paddocks pretty well grazed out and the grass around the mounting block is beautiful...) while I tried to convince myself to get on. I think I put my leg over about four or five times before committing to getting on.
BBB was wonderful. We walked quietly around the paddock and stopped to graze a few times (just while I got used to the sensation...) I will get a bareback pad though, as he has saddle damage over his withers and it makes him a little uncomfortable to sit on. I hate to think what my bony bum does to his poor back!

I am amazed at the amount of feeling there is... every time he moves his head, bends his neck, takes a step... you can feel all of it, his ribs bulging on either side, the curve of his back changing as he drops his head and lifts a hind leg forward...

I believe learning to ride bareback will make me a much better rider, and I believe I will overcome the fear I have now. But for a while, I will continue to keep company with me, especially while riding round the block, which is my usual hack. God only knows how long it will take to feel comfortable at the walk, or the trot, or the canter, but I will do it.

I dream of myself riding, like Alec and the Black, down the beach, without fear... That is my picture of absolute freedom.

Newbie fears

Ok, So BBB and I have had some adventures since the last post. You remember he was sound again? Well, there were a few nights where class didn't end til four/five-ish and it was too dark to ride, so I didn't go out this week.

Friday Ainsley went to feed out and for whatever reason, the BBB turned round and kicked her. Not so flash. We chased him around the paddock for a bit, made it VERY clear he was never to do it again and I'll be working on having him respectful of both of us when feeding time comes round. Left a post for mugwump and have some practical advice from her and Laura Crum.

At any rate, Saturday was lovely and I had all day free so I headed out for a ride. Guess who's lame again? Tearing around the paddock without a warm up seems to have left him off in the back right leg. Damn it. We got maybe ten steps out of the drive when I thought, no, this doesn't feel right.

It doesn't help that after so long being lame and under worked he's as high as a kite and making me nervous. I gotta get a grip on that. The BBB being high as a kite is a tall horse picking his head up and looking about and walking a little bit forward. He's not that scary. Not out of control, not spooky or feeling like he might buck... Just not a lazy old school horse you've got to wear yourself out on just to get a walk.

But let me tell you, the whole owning a horse thing, and riding outside of an arena and not having an instructor to tell me what to do? It's bloody scary. I'm terrified of loosing control, and trying really hard not to hang off his face because of it. I'm afraid I'll do something wrong, not feed him adequately or not notice that he's sick, or... I don't even know. Anything. I want to look after him so well, and every day I find something else I had no idea about. I'm learning fast though!

Right now I'm slightly worried that my riding fears are getting in my way. Ainsley doesn't think he's lame, and apparently he was only very slightly lame last time too... I don't know about that, I could see and feel the difference that fast it felt like a huge limp! She thinks I should still be working him, and if he's only very slightly lame she might be right... but again, it feels wrong to me. How long will it be before I can safely trust my own judgment? I feel ignorant and everyone elses opinions seem that much more... important? knowledgeable? I also haven't owned this horse for long enough to know if this is normal. Maybe he's always a little un even. I don't know. Maybe it's a result of being barefoot for the first time. It's been six weeks since the shoes came off, maybe he's still adjusting? Maybe I'm just making excuses so I can still be a scardy cat and not ride...

I hope not.

Beautiful Day

Today was lovely, not a cloud in the sky, gentle breeze, moderate temperature. My first thought on remembering I had the day off from class was "fantastic day for a ride" I then sat up. And yelped.

See, I used to laugh at mum when she complained about bicycle seats... I can't anymore. Those bruises hurt! and the bike is the only way out to the BBB. So of course, like any good student, I procrastinated. I'm learning to do that in a slightly more productive manner these days. So I cleaned the stove and did the dishes and tidied the bedroom and re-wrote my CV and went to find myself a job.

I've been awfully lucky in that I live in a country where grazing is cheap. And even more so if your almost mother in law owns 14 acres. So It's been cheap so far. But feeding out in winter is not going to be that easy. And the $170 a week the government gives me to study is not going to feed both of us easily. Bills total $155 a week, inclusive food, grazing, power, rent, internet, insurance etc. So an extra hundred a week wouldn't go amiss.

Sad thing is, I had a job when I bought him. I'm just not a fan of bosses who ask you do do illegal shit. Not my cup of tea. So I left. Now I need a new one, and hooray for the cafe down the road that's hiring!

So now its getting dark, and BBB's fed and I'm not going to ride. Cos my ass hurts. DAMN IT!

...I don't suppose he minds though...

Sound Again!

The BBB appears to have recovered!! Three cheers! No, wait, we're running out of time...

Trotted him out this afternoon (having spent half an hour on a dreadfully uncomfortable bicycle to get to him) and he was just fine :) Thought I'd go for a ride but he appears to have developed a cow shit fetish and had covered himself in the stuff. By the time I got it off him it was dark, god damn it. Why does it have to be winter and dark early?

Gave him a feed and got back on the damned uncomfortable bike. Anyone else have a bike seat that manages to jam itself up your bum? I swear I get bruises *between* my sit bones. Ouch.

Lameness?

So, today there was no heat in the foot and the BBB didn't seem as sore. Not sound... just not lame either. Probably got sore muscles from limping around the place for a week. At any rate, I couldn't see that it had actually blown out, so we soaked and walked again anyway. Can't hurt right? And if it had blown out and I was just being blind the salt water would have helped anyway.

Have learned since that abcesses sometimes do just disappear on their own. Glad to hear it, I might get to ride this week! Hoorah!

At any rate, we walked about ten meters down the road and hey, there's a digger reversing off the back of a truck! Fun fun! Yes, I own a TB...

Thankfully, the BBB is the most wonderful TB in the world and didn't turn a hair. Had a good look and walked a little quicker. That was the extent of his reaction. I really do *love* this horse! The last TB I knew went off his rocker standing in cross ties, or standing on a lead. The one thing I didn't want, when looking for a first horse, was a TB. Oh well, Breed doesn't count, he just IS the right horse for me.

Last day of vacation today too, have been editing the other half's assignments and finishing mine up . Will be good to finish study and work again. Kinda need the extra cash for horse feed/new shoes (for me)/driving lessons etc etc.

Some sort of explanation is probably required...

Ok. So I went to a wine tasting this St Patricks day... Had a few too many glasses and then sort of spent the afternoon buying a horse.

Now, before you get too concerned, I was looking for a horse, and specifically for THIS horse. He'd been living at my partners mothers house for a month. So really, its not quite as "I got drunk and bought a horse" as I've made it sound... but hey, how much more interesting is that story?

As you may imagine it's a little new to me. I mean, its my FIRST EVER horse... And having spent a large part of my holidays reading back logs of "fugly horse of the day" and "the VLC" I've taken advice mentioned and started a blog. Hopefully it keeps me motivated. Hopefully it doesn't deteriorate into the kind of drivel normally found in my journal... hmmm. There are somethings not even strangers want to know...

So anyway, here I am with this horse, lets call him, well, Very Large Gelding's taken... So... Big Red Gelding? BRG? (I've an urge to go with Roald Dahl's BFG but he's a 16.2 TB gelding, not a shire.) How 'bout Big Beautiful Boy? I can live with that, BBB.

So. The BBB is without a doubt the best first horse in the world. And yes, I know I'm biased. We've been together a month now, more actually. And so far we've done quite a bit of quiet hacking (I've been out of riding for a year and a half and am DEFINATELY out of shape!) and just last week a very short schooling session. I say very because it lasted exactly until we changed directions and trotted half a circle to the left and he felt LAME. This was a week ago today. Not hugely lame, no swelling or heat or sore points and heres me, newbie horse owner, thinking "oh my god, I have NO idea what this is." So I txted my Horse Person.

Turns out he has an abcess in his left front foot. It is suspected its been hanging about for a while but now that he's barefoot for the first time in his life and the hoof is flexing a little more BBB is feeling it. I know he had dificulty with his left lead with his former owner, which would make sense if that foot was slightly sore.

So I'm learning already. So far I've learned that BBB is a saint and will keep his foot in the bucket even when he drops half a carrot *just* out of reach. Instead of stepping forward, he walks his back feet right up close to the front feet and leeeaaans over to pick it up, then walks his back feet back again. I *love* this horse.

I have to say, he's actually got good timing with this, as not only am I starting to feed him this week (handy dandy way to keep him happy with the bucket) but with his bare feet he was iffy about the road work, which he needs, and I need because we're both unfit and his feet need toughening up. So hand walking him up and down the road twice a day is good for both of us. Hoorah. And a nice way to bond.

At the moment we're working on waiting nicely for our food without barging past and forcing our way into it.

Ok. So now I've rambled completely past explaining the origin of this blog. I think it might be a good time to stop.