It's been HOW long??

So, I have neglected this blog disgracefully. I have been writing in the mean time, it just hasn't been posted here. I'm thinking I can post some of my various long winded emails/diary entries/rants here as a reminder to myself what the last few months have achieved. After all, no one HAS to read any of this :)

Nov. 9 2010

Saturday afternoon is my re-sit for my riding practical. At least this time I have a whole week of one on one jumping lessons with Bridget. And actually getting feed back, thank God. The last instructor wasn't particularly helpful. She'd just get you to jump that. and then that. and then the other one and if you didn't fall off, she'd make them bigger and make you do them all again. Didn't really learn much. Certainly didn't learn to ride the horse very well. He operates on different principles than mine. On Harry, if you drop your reins and stop asking for anything, he slows down and stops. On Tom, who I'm riding in the assessment, if you drop the reins and stop asking for anything, he goes faster and faster and faster and faster... He also throws tanties every now and again.
On Friday Anna was mounting and was just throwing her leg over his back and he freaked and took off, bucking and pig rooting. She landed behind the saddle and he went faster, jumped over the second part of the double, an oxer, backwards. Anna lost her reins, he took the two strides and went to jump the first part of the double as she bailed. She landed in the jump, broke one of the rails even. They're pine, about 6" diameter. Tom was freaked, she was freaked and she has a really amazing bruise across her lower back now, about kidney height, where she hit the rail. Ouch.
This is the horse that ran over me when I came off and fucked my back last term. So I'm (understandably, I think) nervous about riding him again. Every time I ride him, it's either the day before the assessment (Oh shit, Tansy's never jumped more than 65cm, quick, put her on Tom and make her jump a meter.) The day of the assessment (don't freak out too much, it only determines whether or not you get into Advanced and get to be here the rest of the year.) The day I crash and wind up in the hospital with a concussion and nerve damage in my lower back ("if you get tingling or numbness, call the ambulance: If your spine moves further you may never be able to walk again.") The day before the Advanced assessment, (oh, that's right, Tansy hasn't ridden in weeks, has only jumped twice since the last assessment and she has to jump a round of 1.10m tomorrow. Chuck her on Tom, we'll work it out [See facebook profile photo, that's my first attempt at 1.05m. The day before our assessment]) and the day of the assessment (with swine flu, couldn't walk a straight line, fell off twice god damn it. But did jump the meter ten and got best marks for striding through the double and the related distances anyway. Hah! )
After that I couldn't physically get out of bed for the next four days, and I've ridden 3 times in the 5 weeks since.
So now when I look at this horse I get nervous. Like, full on freak out, shaking hands, pale as a ghost. I got on anyway. Tried to relax, cos he picks up on it when you're nervous and that freaks him out even more. Anyway, we were doing Ok on Monday, I was cantering around the arena in my jump seat, (ass out of the saddle, leaning forward a little, balancing on the balls of your feet and letting the horse really move.) We were just coming up the the big arena doors when a flock of birds shot out under Toms nose. He spooked sideways, chucked his head in the air and slammed the breaks on. I toppled forward and landed sitting on my ass in front of him. Not really hurt, but gave me a hell of a fright. And I don't know if it works the same for everyone, but for me when I get a fright I cry. Not big nasty wailing crying, but can't stop the fucking tears from streaming out of my eyes and my lip wobbles a bit. Hate it hate it HATE it. Can't stop it from happening though.
Got back on. Can't get my right heel down now, it's swelling up pretty fast, think I must have twisted it somehow when I fell. So now I'm cantering around with tears streaming down my face, white as a sheet again and trying to smile and act like everything is all ok. Did go over a few jumps, felt really good, and at least when we're doing grid work he can't get too fast. Still, for the rest of the day really little stuff kept setting me off. The head of school asking if I was OK, for example. Or Nana giving me a hug. Suck. I hate crying in public.
Think it's a combination of being stressed out and scared and lonely and still in shock a little about Gordon dying. Oh, and Kala telling me right before my lesson, "well, if you haven't got it yet you're not going to learn it in 5 days." Gonna smack her in the face one day soon... Gonna feel SO good... Sometimes I hate that I think before I act. Life would be more interesting if I had just jumped the fence and broken her nose. She's already been threatened with expulsion though if she doesn't change her attitude, and I'm the "good girl" who doesn't drink, smoke, fuck, or disturb the peace in the middle of the night. Or so the general population of Telford believes. Hah. How people think I'm sweet and innocent, I will never understand!

Spent the evening Icing my ankle, (36 hours later It is an interesting shade of purple and about half as big again as it should be.) and secretly drinking tequila out of a water bottle. We're not allowed alcohol on campus, but I mixed Erica, Becky and Tessa mugs of margueritas and we sat around watching Harry Potter and drinking. Catherine, the hostel supervisor, asked me if, now that I was sober again, I'd mind working on her shoulder (the last time I had a go at it it was midnight and I'd just got home from a piss cruise to Tapanui.) I kinda blinked at her and was like, "um... sure, Cat. No worries." However, when I got back to her office she was gone. Thank God.

Summer!

So, got up early today, went out and did the milking, walked the cows right down to the end paddock and watched a plane take off over my head. Sherry's place ends right at the end of the invercargill airport runway. It was only a pencil plane, but it made me wish I were traveling again.

Got to Ainslies and fed the pigs, let the chickens out... etc etc.

Took Harry out for a ride. Oh wow :D We had a small argument again regarding the desireablity of standing about eating vs actually doing some work, but once we got going it was awesome :)
Went round the block to the left. Walking on the road for the most part, with some trotting on the verges close to home. Cantered on the long streatch by the first corner.
To begin with I felt really insecure, Harry's gaits aren't what they could be, they throw me out of the saddle a little too much. So I flopped about and felt like my legs were swinging wildly and our transitions were a mess...

We did it again anyway. And again. and then cruised for a bit enjoying the sun... And then had a lovely long open streach and went for it again. And by the end of two hours of this my legs felt ok, I was balanced, Harry was cantering reasonably nicely and not falling over his forehand so much, and my posting trot was actually keeping up with his sewing machine.

All in all, a wonderful success!

A slightly less successful day...

So Harry had his feet trimmed yesterday. I got on him this morning, ready for another lovely ride around the block and found out immediately that it was not to be. Walking on the grass? Fine, no worries, Happy as. The minute we had to cross a gravel driveway, or walk on the road to avoid it we had problems. Ie. He was not keen. At all. We went 50m one way, to the nearest driveway. Then 100m the otherway, to the next driveway. At which point we had a short argument over whether or not to go on the road for two meters so as to get to the nice long grassy strip on which to ride. The argument was solved when a small girl came out of her house and asked to pat the horse. I succeded in getting him onto the road to be patted, and then we went home and rode in the paddock. Ah well.

We rode for half an hour in the paddock, practicing accurate trot/walk, walk/trot transitions, and riding the corners with an accurate bend. We serpentined back and forth across the paddock at the walk... I'm not sure how straight our lines were, and the tempo was NOT as even as could be desired. We consistantly went faster and with more energy towards the fence behind which his friend was waiting for him. But hey, its a start.

So, this afternoon I led both horses on the tarmac 100m down the road and back again. They have both been in the paddock for too long, and the digital cushion that should be tough and shock absorbing is soft and spongy. As I understand it, the only thing that will improve the toughness and shock absorbtion of their feet is regular work on hard and uneven surfaces. Slowly at first. It may be that I lead Harry along the road to the grassy area, then ride that down to the arena for some work. the leading on the road will be good for his feet, and the work on soft arena footing will be good for both of us.

A wonderful morning!

So, it's overcast and windy and looks like rain... but I spent all of last night inexplicably sleepless and amused myself by imagining a wonderful ride, cantering along sunny grass verges and grinning from ear to ear as everything was perfect and Harry and I just flowed, balanced and collected, leaping with ease over small obsticles...

I have a wonderful imagination.

Anyway, the result of so many hours of positive thinking was to make me determined to get on and ride today, no matter the weather (a brand new New Years resolution probably helped too) And so I did.

And it was wonderful. Amazing. Harry was keen to get going, so we trotted the first kilometer or so and cantered the nicer patches and for once he didn't decide to stop at the corner and refuse to go forward. The only sad part was that by the end I was sweating profusely and he wasn't even damp! Guess the NewYears resolution about keeping up my weights and regular cycling is going to have to stick too.

I'm already dreaming about tomorrows ride...

Equine Touch and Riding lessons

So, It's been ages since I last posted, And I have heaps to catch up on.
First, I passed my Level 2 Equine Touch! Hoorah! Karen was particularly pleased by the time I gave the horse (Harry) to process everything between moves, and also picking up on what I needed to work on, ie, picking up back legs and resting the hoof on my thigh while working over the sacrum and in the groin area. I'll be round at RDA lots next week to practice that.

Also, I've just had my third riding lesson and my God, the improvements! I'm really pleased with myself.
When I started with the lessons we did an hour of walking, with some trot. Just getting to know the horse I was on, and a way for the instructor, Rebecca, to get to know me.
Second lesson was much more trotting, some work without stirrups and a few trotting poles.
This lesson we did trotting with no stirrups, then no reins, then no reins or stirrups and posting without stirrups (yes, my thighs are killing me!) And then we moved on to trotting poles, cavalletti (raised poles) and a small jump and some canter work.
All in all I am exceedingly pleased with how fast I'm improving :) Ah, the difference having my own horse makes! Plenty of time to practice between lessons! Hoorah!

rambling

Wondering what to write and coming to the conclusion that really, nothing is happening in my life worth writing about. It makes me a little sad. Life is boring. And I'm not doing anything and no wonder I'm feeling as stale as the bread found at the back of the pantry a week too late.
Today, for example, I got up, showered, did a load of washing, had breakfast and went to work. Work was ok, there was a band playing and I was happy enough. I fed a few people, cleared their tables, made some of them laugh, then I cleaned up and went home.
Not much of a life really, and certainly not what I want to be doing. I wonder if anyone's day is improved because I was in it? I wonder if anyone remembers that I spent my day trying to make people leave feeling more happy than they did when they arrived.
I don't know, really, what I want to do with my life, but I think I could be doing more to make the world a better place than I am. I think I could be doing more to make my life a little more entertaining. I just don't know what.
Ah well, I will sleep, and tomorrow, hopefully will leave me with something worth talking about.
Hah, or no time to write at all. So far the plan is: Feed animals, practice Equine touch on half the horses at Riding for the disabled, feed animals again, bike home, get cleaned up for staff meeting, go to staff meeting and have a few drinks while trying out the new menu, go to a business introduction meeting... For a monday, Its looking like I might actually get something done.
Have yet to see if any of it might lead to something life changing.
Life changing would be good, obviously I'm not satisfied with the one I'm living.

More time with the boy!

Well, they say every cloud has a silver lining. With James' mum having broken her back we are spending much more time at her place, and with my horse. Twice a day we feed pigs and horses and goat and chickens and dog and cats and steers and (less frequently) the fish. It means no sleep ins, sad as I'm often working nights, but I see my Harry boy every day. We've been doing some work on knowing exactly who's boss and me being able to drive him away from his food. Or rather, me not getting bowled over by him getting to his food. I find, oddly enough, that he's calmed down at feeding time with this practice. He had been pawing the ground and stamping his feet and generally unable to stand still. Now with me being the boss and allowing him to eat when I said so, the pressure's off and he can eat without worrying.
I find it odd, but I guess it makes sense to him. I'm still having trouble getting weight on him. He gets all the baleage he can eat plus twice a day feeds of alfalfa chaff, soaked beet, horse nuts, boiled barley and a cup and a half of canola oil. With that and the new spring grass I swear he should be the size of a house, but no. My next bet is to get a supplement which replaces bacteria in the gut, enabling him to get more out of the food he's eating. Worm count is zero and his teeth have been done by a qualified equine dentist so I'm at a loss if that doesn't work. As an Off Track Thoroughbred I know his early years weren't the best for his digestion, and I know his previous owner had trouble keeping weight on him too but I feel inadequate some how, that I'm not taking good enough care of my horse.
At anyrate, the weight will sort itself out eventually, and in other respects we're comming along nicely (I think) we had an excursion yesterday out to Riding for the Disabled. He was calm and quiet, with only a few moments of snorting and giraffe imitations (donkeys and an unexpeced peice of machinery on the side of the road) and we got to the arena safely. Here he was faced with a bunch of unfamiliar horses, two of whom were on heat, and being tied up on his own while I had lunch. He was remarkably calm about it all. I did some body work on him, practicing my advanced body balance before my level three course next month, and he just about fell asleep, then followed me around the arena looking for more. I sat on the mounting block and he walked up and had cuddles with me for a good half an hour. Half asleep with his head in my lap and occasionally whuffing at my face to request more ear scratches.
Such a sweet heart.
I did discover though that he will not eat oranges or parsnips.
Walking home was much the same and we did alot of trotting up small hills to get his shoulders working. I have a few poles (read small pine tree trunks) at Ainslie's now, so I have him trot over them a few times a day and lunge him up and down the only real slope we have. He thinks I'm mad, but the muscle is beginning to build up correctly in his shoulders and his back end doesn't feel so much like jelly ( mine is another story, sadly).
I feel that things are starting to come together and so long as it is consistanly clear that I'm in charge, we will be fine. Any moments of doubt on my part he picks up instantly. Damn horses and their fantastic body language skills!